The Size of Your World is the Depth of Your Consciousness

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Break Away Break Through Break Free

Being a leader is not easy.
Some people get to lead because they've lobbied over time for a title or a position. Some people get there because they have a skill, they've served many years, or they own the company. But this doesn't make them a good leader.

Many confuse managing with leading.
"If I follow a system or a process, I'm a leader. If things don't change, it things don't go wrong, I'll be okay. Just make sure people in my team don't give trouble. Keep everything safe and my position will be secure."

They think, "I'm the leader so you'd better listen to what I say. Or else!" They spare no time thinking --- What type of person must I be so that others will have confidence in me, respect me? What kind of behavior must I demonstrate so that I will inspire confidence, camaraderie, cohesion?

So off they go, banging around. They go about - unaware of how they leave a wake of confusion, often fear behind them.

How does a (real) leader handle conflict? Do they ignore it and hope it will go away? What's the job of a leader anyway? What's the ultimate desired outcome? How many actually think about what results they must produce (other than fame, popularity, further promotion and other "tribal" attractions)

One of the fundamental roles of a leader is to turn a group into a team... a collection of individuals, into a top - performing whole made up of one unit. Cohesion. What skill is required for this?

I'm guessing the 1st thing is to get off the fact that leadership is about the leader. It's got to be about the people one is leading.

Not a popular thing to do, but a leader must hold people accountable. A leader must hold the vision and keep the integrity up, giving just enough wiggle room for creativity but not enough that people go all "individual." After all, people need guidance. We need feedback. We need to be told, "Hey, you're doing great," or, "Listen, if you need to get that done quicker, how could you do it?" Leaving people alone to fix themselves is a no-no. Take that up a notch and you'll notice how great leaders confront what's not right. They don't allow disagreements or conflicts among team members to fester. They will never tolerate lowered productivity because of lack of courage to assert their values and principles about how things should be run --- for the good of everybody.

Good leaders do not practice favoritism or cronyism. Friendship is different and it does not get in the way.

If you recognize yourself in any of these situations, what will you do to bring improvement to them? How could you meta-state a negative emotion or concept or belief so that a more positive outcome could occur?

For example, disagreements could be meta-stated with respect, tolerance and understanding, patience etc. Meditate on peace and progress. The insights would be invaluable. Then share your thoughts with your team.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Women Grow Up - We need all hands on Board.

Woman... No I'm generalizing.
Housewife... Are you tired of being treated as if you were dumb and ditzy?
You feel people (even family) don't trust you with stuff --- like renewing insurance policies, proof-reading contracts (even though you have an MBA), redemption of frequent flyer miles, or credit card points.

Ever wonder why there's so much friction, disagreement, conflict, and confusion in your life, in your home, even over little things? Do you sense that even people close to you question your capability or resourcefulness? Do they believe you're a safe pair of hands?

They might see you as a great "cheerleader" --- good at shouting out "Woo Hoo!" or cleaning up the poop at home. But somehow that's where it ends. For "real" work, people always go (husband especially) to someone they perceive as more reliable, more dependable, more effective. And less emotional! Can you blame them?

I know I'm a woman and I should be sticking up for us girls. Actually I am. I'm asking us to cut the BS and grow up. I'm asking us to stop blaming others for what we don't have. I'm asking us to remember who we are, take our power back, and save ourselves. We're meant to be queens not slaves.

Harsh? Perhaps. But girls, we gotta get real. We must work to stay relevant. Especially us past 40. Often we're the ones who don't understand new technology - cyber rules, the new workplace. Our men need a new brand of woman.

I was signing up at the reception table of a big party last weekend and the ladies at the counter were whispering to each other. They were gossiping. You could tell. I handed in my ticket, gave them my money, signed my name in the book and walked into the ballroom. 5 minutes later one of the ushers summoned me back out to the reception table and asked me for my name and money. She did so in the most unfriendly manner possible.
Reception = Welcome. Happy you came. I'm here to help. To receive you.
Right? Apparently not.

Question: Why are women often perceived as "less than?" The weaker sex? Ouch, for someone working to support women's development, that incident hurt me deeply. Who's standing in the way of that lady's happiness? She, herself of course.

Not long ago I met a woman who proudly told me she knew nothing about her family's property and her husband's business. "I'm a lady of leisure," she announced.

Happy for you, I thought. So what you do and your husband talk about apart from the children and the maids? How well do you think you're supporting his needs? Sure you may be one of those "obedient wives" - a whore in bed, a whizz in the kitchen, and a self - sacrificing mother, but what about a partner and companion to a man who could be so pregnant with possibility that all he needs is the right woman to help him give birth to amazing, magnificent innovations that could change the world?

I met her husband. The man couldn't have looked more bored beside her.

Girls, wake up. We have work to do. Our purpose is to save the planet. We are here to raise a new generation of humans --- the kind that is more gentle more kind more loving. Women, wake up from being little girls. We need all hands on board.