The Size of Your World is the Depth of Your Consciousness

Friday, August 27, 2010

Good to Great

When small change adds up to big difference, I call that "transformation." Since my divorce I've been questioning, challenging, and clarifying my sense-of-self. I've wanted to realize and actualize my personal strengths, that's right, who I am on my own. Not as a part of a pair, but as a woman coming into her own. Own what? Own right, own being. Not having, not doing... Just being.
Yes, how strong is that woman.

I notice the amount of change in myself. I no longer recognize the old me. I feel her in me, yes. She was a part of who I was. She is a fragment of my past, she doesn't exist anymore. And then I notice all the change this new me has caused --- all around me things are changing, evolving, transforming. Because of me, things are improving, people are dreaming; more importantly, people are living their dream.

I am a change agent. I am a facilitator of change. I am empowered by my experiences, by those who have taught me, by those who have gone before me. I am strengthened by those who are prepared to share themselves with me. And I pledge to do the same. I will offer my thoughts, my words, my experiences, my actions, my intentions, to those who wish to share in the process of moving from good to great.

For those who wish to gain momentum, speed, clarity, propensity, propulsion, use me. Come and join me. Support the cause to facilitate the evolution of humanity --- from good to great.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Standing on the Shoulders of Giants_Dato L Krishnan

Dato L Krishnan is Malaysia's first movie producer. He created cinema culture here in the 1960s.
In the flesh he is mild mannered, humble, kind, and generous. Big - hearted is how I'd describe this man, who is an icon of selflessness and contribution to society.

Krish as I fondly call him, has taught me many invaluable lessons. The main one is non-judgement. The second, acceptance. The third, tolerance. The fourth, humility. Fifth, truthfulness. Sixth, righteousness. Seventh, dedication... The list is never ending.

I say all who stand before this great soul are like chalk. There is simply no comparison between chalk and cheese, is there?

Selfless giving marks Dato Krishnan's birthday every year when he hosts hundreds of orphans and less fortunate children to a day out complete with goodies and gifts.

When my life is past, I want to be a fraction of what this man is. Loved by all, revered by the leaders, and followed by the masses. Dato Krish is a beacon of light to the world. His fiery heart and willing hands have led me, guided me, smacked me, and protected me --- I love him dearly as a father, guru, and a friend.

Krish, you occupy a special place in my heart. No one could ever replace you.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Hell No!

My anger scares me. I want to always remain calm. I wish I were Gandhi or Mother Theresa but I'm not. I'm just an ordinary person doing her honest best everyday. Some days I do well and other days, I'm awful.

I've thought a lot about what triggers my anger - what happens that makes me access the emotion of... It usually begins with irritation, then frustration, before it escalates and turns into anger, and if not controlled just then, full - blown rage. When that happens, I'm horrified at myself. It's as if some "thing" possesses me and I lose control.

Excuse? I've spent hours and days analyzing. What I've come up with is this. My anger is driven by my sense of fairness. My sense of law and order in the world, in the justice systems, my principles, sense of ethics and morality, my values - authenticity, honesty, contribution... these are the main drivers. Oh and faith in the human race. We are so much better than this, so why why why?

How could I standby and watch without participating - when the weak, timid, poor, and less educated are blatantly bullied or taken advantage of? Would you have me turn the other cheek when power and authority renders the helpless more helpless? We are not just statistics.

I especially balk when "fake" people connive to fool you into believing they are your friends and then stab you in the back or muddy your name. To me, these are the cowards who cannot stand up and fight fair and square. So their attack is covert, cunning, devious, treacherous, stealthy, insidious, wicked.

When institutions dictate, when danger threatens people you love, would you rather I stepped aside and minded my own business? Hell No! With every fibre in my being I scream NO NO NO.

You judge me? Anger is ugly. Yes it is. I don't disagree. I'm working everyday to get closer to the path of peace. I will do it. I know I can. But meantime, my anger serves me.

Read the paper lately? Child rape. Incest. Abduction of little girls. Sexual harassment in the workplace. White collar crime. Corruption. Breach of Trust. Slander. Gossip. Talking down. Forcing personal opinion onto others. Denying freedom of choice. Withholding basic human rights. Torturing animals.

You think anger is a bad thing? At least it's honest. You try dealing with the passive agressives. You go figure who's on the covert operations beat. Good luck to you.

Before you condemn an angry person know this. It's all contextual. And at the back of anger is hurt. It hurts me that humans would do such horrendous things to other humans. Animals kill for food. It's us humans who will annihilate the human race. We can watch and do nothing, or we can say, "Stop. Hell NO!"

Monday, August 9, 2010

I can. I will

Have you ever been in a place where nothing seems to be working? Well, where pretty much everything is a mess? I've just been having one of those times, experiencing one of those places.

How does it feel exactly?
A bit like butterflies in the pit of your stomach that don't want to stop flitting, a bit like mind thinking but without any thought... just bits and pieces of messages, images, emotions floating.

You want to reach out and touch something... anything tangible will do, but uh uh, no. No way will it hold still long enough for you to decipher what it is those bleeping buzzies mean and why they're doing it to you.

That's just it! What are "they" doing to me? What am I assuming about them that makes me unable to overcome? How much do I really have inside of me that let's me think I'm doing to be kept down for long?

Tough talk. But them butterflies sure can make you feel like crap.

So what then? I hold still just long enough to recognize the sensations to say, "I don't like." Exactly now I'm moving right along -- no matter how good, or wounded. I'm thinking, "I'm going to move notwithstanding."

Anything is better than no motion. This stuckness is a product of my consciousness... and so I must move, move upwards, outwards, to occupy a higher consciousness that will lend me some traction, or give me some leverage to lift my spirits... so that I can again think, "I can. I will."

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Your Place in The World

See how small children behave. They have difficulty staying focused. Their eyes dart from here to there and anywhere action or movement distracts them. They could be entertained and chuckling one moment, bawling their eyes out the next.

Notice how animals behave. They use their noses, their eyes, their ears, their tongues -- sniff, sniff! They paw at things, they buzz around. It's my sense they're ever ready to play to the gallery. It's my sense they're not settled into themselves but dependent on their environment -- whether up or down, it's not within their control.

But we are different. So superior. Our thoughts, feelings, and behavior is well within our control. In fact, we have the power to control our environment. Our energy can calm or it could stir. We could be rabble - rousers or we could be peace makers.

To be fully aware and fully present and engaged, drop your awareness from your "outer senses" into your body. Take your consciousness and let it sink right into your heart and lungs. Let your beingness fill your gut. Let this presence fill you so that you have a real sense you "own your space." Feel how centered that makes you? Notice how you stabilize... flushing out the chaos, the uncertainty. Let spirit take you.

Now let your energy shine out. Imagine a beam of light coming from your belly and whoosh! Right out into the world. You... and everything around you becomes enveloped in this light. Whoosh! Like a moonbeam. Heck, like laser beams!

That's your spirit, your energy. That's your passion. That's your power. That's your personality. That's who you really and truly are.

You were meant for greatness. Now go and light up the universe.