The Size of Your World is the Depth of Your Consciousness

Monday, August 9, 2010

I can. I will

Have you ever been in a place where nothing seems to be working? Well, where pretty much everything is a mess? I've just been having one of those times, experiencing one of those places.

How does it feel exactly?
A bit like butterflies in the pit of your stomach that don't want to stop flitting, a bit like mind thinking but without any thought... just bits and pieces of messages, images, emotions floating.

You want to reach out and touch something... anything tangible will do, but uh uh, no. No way will it hold still long enough for you to decipher what it is those bleeping buzzies mean and why they're doing it to you.

That's just it! What are "they" doing to me? What am I assuming about them that makes me unable to overcome? How much do I really have inside of me that let's me think I'm doing to be kept down for long?

Tough talk. But them butterflies sure can make you feel like crap.

So what then? I hold still just long enough to recognize the sensations to say, "I don't like." Exactly now I'm moving right along -- no matter how good, or wounded. I'm thinking, "I'm going to move notwithstanding."

Anything is better than no motion. This stuckness is a product of my consciousness... and so I must move, move upwards, outwards, to occupy a higher consciousness that will lend me some traction, or give me some leverage to lift my spirits... so that I can again think, "I can. I will."

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