Success and Money

What does it feel like to be successful? What does success mean to you?
When you're it, what do you say to yourself, what do you envision others saying to you?
It's surely something very pleasant... we'd imagine. How many can say they've experienced real tangible and lasting success?

What I know is this. Success is elusive. It doesn't stand still. It's something that needs pursuing and then before you know it, off it goes --- into the hands of the one most deserving. So it doesn't pay to be complacent. From experience, to remain successful, I know one must keep nimble and on one's toes and have one's ears to the ground.

Success is also very personal. If you are successful under someone else's (umbrella) the success isn't really yours and therefore you don't get the same buzz. For it to qualify as your success, you'd need to have created, owned and participated actively. Or you'd know in your gut, it was just pseudo success.

More than a little tinge of envy, doubt, or dissatisfaction would set in and then spoil the whole experience.

So success must come from within, and there's where the best of success would be felt. Then you could really know success for what it truly is - for how that success has changed you from what you were before it, to what you are today.

To your success!

Selling Intangibles like Creativity and Innovation

I listened to the CEO of Matrade (the Malaysia Trade Promotion Council) a corporation of the Ministry of International Trade & Industry, as he spoke about selling our country's design services and innovation. Not an easy task, I gathered.

The main outcome is to promote Malaysia as a hub for business creation and innovation, not just a halfway house offering cheap labor and posing as an assembly plant where basic components come together and get shipped out plus or minus the "Made in Malaysia" stamp.

Issues:
#1
How to place value on creativity; and how to recognize those who create as builders and key contributors to the economy
#2
How to benchmark our creativity with the rest of the world's
#3
How to measure and define the various forms of creativity and their part in contributing to our economy - design, business innovation, infrastructure, thought and approach - to keep up with our trade obligations as well as the advanced methods of high income economies

To my mind Malaysia's approach to success must be holistic. It must start from the very top and cascade down to involve and include all types and all levels of society - not just our education system but the developers of thinking processes, not just architects and designers but also consumers of these.

To start is to go back to basics - we are built for improvement. So measure --- how much are we improving, based upon what our intentions are, guided by what we are capable of, what we have, what we need, how we show the improvements we make, how we handle the improvements we don't make.

Isn't the first step always to begin from where we are --- before we can truly say how far we have gone? Compared of course, to where we need to be?

Good to Great

When small change adds up to big difference, I call that "transformation." Since my divorce I've been questioning, challenging, and clarifying my sense-of-self. I've wanted to realize and actualize my personal strengths, that's right, who I am on my own. Not as a part of a pair, but as a woman coming into her own. Own what? Own right, own being. Not having, not doing... Just being.
Yes, how strong is that woman.

I notice the amount of change in myself. I no longer recognize the old me. I feel her in me, yes. She was a part of who I was. She is a fragment of my past, she doesn't exist anymore. And then I notice all the change this new me has caused --- all around me things are changing, evolving, transforming. Because of me, things are improving, people are dreaming; more importantly, people are living their dream.

I am a change agent. I am a facilitator of change. I am empowered by my experiences, by those who have taught me, by those who have gone before me. I am strengthened by those who are prepared to share themselves with me. And I pledge to do the same. I will offer my thoughts, my words, my experiences, my actions, my intentions, to those who wish to share in the process of moving from good to great.

For those who wish to gain momentum, speed, clarity, propensity, propulsion, use me. Come and join me. Support the cause to facilitate the evolution of humanity --- from good to great.

Standing on the Shoulders of Giants_Dato L Krishnan

Dato L Krishnan is Malaysia's first movie producer. He created cinema culture here in the 1960s.
In the flesh he is mild mannered, humble, kind, and generous. Big - hearted is how I'd describe this man, who is an icon of selflessness and contribution to society.

Krish as I fondly call him, has taught me many invaluable lessons. The main one is non-judgement. The second, acceptance. The third, tolerance. The fourth, humility. Fifth, truthfulness. Sixth, righteousness. Seventh, dedication... The list is never ending.

I say all who stand before this great soul are like chalk. There is simply no comparison between chalk and cheese, is there?

Selfless giving marks Dato Krishnan's birthday every year when he hosts hundreds of orphans and less fortunate children to a day out complete with goodies and gifts.

When my life is past, I want to be a fraction of what this man is. Loved by all, revered by the leaders, and followed by the masses. Dato Krish is a beacon of light to the world. His fiery heart and willing hands have led me, guided me, smacked me, and protected me --- I love him dearly as a father, guru, and a friend.

Krish, you occupy a special place in my heart. No one could ever replace you.

Hell No!

My anger scares me. I want to always remain calm. I wish I were Gandhi or Mother Theresa but I'm not. I'm just an ordinary person doing her honest best everyday. Some days I do well and other days, I'm awful.

I've thought a lot about what triggers my anger - what happens that makes me access the emotion of... It usually begins with irritation, then frustration, before it escalates and turns into anger, and if not controlled just then, full - blown rage. When that happens, I'm horrified at myself. It's as if some "thing" possesses me and I lose control.

Excuse? I've spent hours and days analyzing. What I've come up with is this. My anger is driven by my sense of fairness. My sense of law and order in the world, in the justice systems, my principles, sense of ethics and morality, my values - authenticity, honesty, contribution... these are the main drivers. Oh and faith in the human race. We are so much better than this, so why why why?

How could I standby and watch without participating - when the weak, timid, poor, and less educated are blatantly bullied or taken advantage of? Would you have me turn the other cheek when power and authority renders the helpless more helpless? We are not just statistics.

I especially balk when "fake" people connive to fool you into believing they are your friends and then stab you in the back or muddy your name. To me, these are the cowards who cannot stand up and fight fair and square. So their attack is covert, cunning, devious, treacherous, stealthy, insidious, wicked.

When institutions dictate, when danger threatens people you love, would you rather I stepped aside and minded my own business? Hell No! With every fibre in my being I scream NO NO NO.

You judge me? Anger is ugly. Yes it is. I don't disagree. I'm working everyday to get closer to the path of peace. I will do it. I know I can. But meantime, my anger serves me.

Read the paper lately? Child rape. Incest. Abduction of little girls. Sexual harassment in the workplace. White collar crime. Corruption. Breach of Trust. Slander. Gossip. Talking down. Forcing personal opinion onto others. Denying freedom of choice. Withholding basic human rights. Torturing animals.

You think anger is a bad thing? At least it's honest. You try dealing with the passive agressives. You go figure who's on the covert operations beat. Good luck to you.

Before you condemn an angry person know this. It's all contextual. And at the back of anger is hurt. It hurts me that humans would do such horrendous things to other humans. Animals kill for food. It's us humans who will annihilate the human race. We can watch and do nothing, or we can say, "Stop. Hell NO!"

I can. I will

Have you ever been in a place where nothing seems to be working? Well, where pretty much everything is a mess? I've just been having one of those times, experiencing one of those places.

How does it feel exactly?
A bit like butterflies in the pit of your stomach that don't want to stop flitting, a bit like mind thinking but without any thought... just bits and pieces of messages, images, emotions floating.

You want to reach out and touch something... anything tangible will do, but uh uh, no. No way will it hold still long enough for you to decipher what it is those bleeping buzzies mean and why they're doing it to you.

That's just it! What are "they" doing to me? What am I assuming about them that makes me unable to overcome? How much do I really have inside of me that let's me think I'm doing to be kept down for long?

Tough talk. But them butterflies sure can make you feel like crap.

So what then? I hold still just long enough to recognize the sensations to say, "I don't like." Exactly now I'm moving right along -- no matter how good, or wounded. I'm thinking, "I'm going to move notwithstanding."

Anything is better than no motion. This stuckness is a product of my consciousness... and so I must move, move upwards, outwards, to occupy a higher consciousness that will lend me some traction, or give me some leverage to lift my spirits... so that I can again think, "I can. I will."

Your Place in The World

See how small children behave. They have difficulty staying focused. Their eyes dart from here to there and anywhere action or movement distracts them. They could be entertained and chuckling one moment, bawling their eyes out the next.

Notice how animals behave. They use their noses, their eyes, their ears, their tongues -- sniff, sniff! They paw at things, they buzz around. It's my sense they're ever ready to play to the gallery. It's my sense they're not settled into themselves but dependent on their environment -- whether up or down, it's not within their control.

But we are different. So superior. Our thoughts, feelings, and behavior is well within our control. In fact, we have the power to control our environment. Our energy can calm or it could stir. We could be rabble - rousers or we could be peace makers.

To be fully aware and fully present and engaged, drop your awareness from your "outer senses" into your body. Take your consciousness and let it sink right into your heart and lungs. Let your beingness fill your gut. Let this presence fill you so that you have a real sense you "own your space." Feel how centered that makes you? Notice how you stabilize... flushing out the chaos, the uncertainty. Let spirit take you.

Now let your energy shine out. Imagine a beam of light coming from your belly and whoosh! Right out into the world. You... and everything around you becomes enveloped in this light. Whoosh! Like a moonbeam. Heck, like laser beams!

That's your spirit, your energy. That's your passion. That's your power. That's your personality. That's who you really and truly are.

You were meant for greatness. Now go and light up the universe.

To Inspire the Courage Confidence & Freedom To Live Your Best Life

Recently I wondered. When I do something, is it about me - is it about what I want to achieve, is it about my audience, or is it about something larger than that, something beyond me?

The easy answer, the most obvious projection is, yes it is. After all, I'm the one doing it, aren't I? I'm the one involved. I'm the one motivated. That is, I'm the one with the motive. I'm the one who's driven. Driven to achieve something. And so I take action. Sometimes frighteningly massive action.

But who's actually doing the driving? Often it doesn't feel like it's coming from me. I know I feel it. But it doesn't feel like it's me at all.

Why am I putting myself "out there?" I put my neck on the line - my reputation, my credibility, my energy... all so personal to me... to achieve what? What do I want?

Just like you I want happiness and peace and to live my best life. And I could do that so many other ways. Easier ways. Cheaper ways. There are moments when I think, "you couldn't pay me enough!" But there I am doing it anyway.

It goes back to the highest of human needs - of wanting to be part of something bigger than ourselves. It comes from wanting more... to experience, to express, to enjoy, to enable, to push our personal limits and go where we haven't gone before.

They say necessity is the mother of invention. I think the real mother of invention is our need to be our best selves, to live our best lives. And so we work to create. With our personal excellence, our innate genius, our God-given gifts and talents, skills and capabilities, we constantly work to invent, engineer, and design our lives so that we keep pushing the boundaries of our personal power and potential.

It's as if the gifts we were given were pushing forward... and we keep inventing to silence the drive. "It" pushes as if to say, the only way to happiness and peace and success is to keep inventing.

In the doing is our best life in the making. What are you doing that's not about you?

Standing on the shoulders of giants_Nishita-ji

This woman cannot make a clumsy movement. She cannot make a face other than one that projects peace. When in her presence everything becomes calmer, as if covered by a cloud of comfort.

Suddenly I feel the size of a pinhead. Everything becomes immaterial. The only thing important is understanding, acceptance, and peace.

Nishita-ji begins to speak to the crowd gathered to listen to her. She begins by saying:

Eternal Father Mother of the Universe. This is as far as I can go. From here I shall await your grace to lift me up to a place that on my own I cannot hope to go.

She closes her eyes for a moment before she opens them to look around the room. She smiles and begins to speak.
All wisdom, all compassion, all strength, all sacrifice.

She speaks for 1 hour then pauses to review her points with us. No notes. No struggle. All smooth. Then she continues speaking for another hour and time flows --- just as she flows. As smooth as silk.

So this is why the Bible says, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away."

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Let there be peace on earth. And let it begin with you and me.

Standing on the shoulders of giants_Michelle Duval

How do you listen so well that you develop the ability to hear what's not being said? I learned this skill from Master Coach Michelle Duval.

Michelle is just in her 30s and known as one of the best coaches in the world. Her ability to get people to take action, and transform their lives for the better is phenomenal and known the world over. She does this simply by bringing your awareness to your present state and then by facilitating the process of what must be done to get to your desired state.

"What is it that you're not saying?" Michelle asked when I finished introducing myself. "I wonder why you didn't make reference to your life before that?"

With her questions I went deeper and deeper within myself. And the understandings came. The realizations happened. And the path was paved for new beginnings.

To the degree we are dishonest with others and especially with ourselves, to that level we are unable to live with courage, confidence, and freedom. Courage comes from facing our fears. Confidence comes from doing and perfecting. Freedom comes from choice. Choice is the power to choose our thoughts, feelings, speech, and behavior, no matter what the circumstance. Freedom to respond instead of slavery to other people's point of view, their whims and fancies.

So listen well. Don't be afraid to hear the truth. Especially your own.
I wish you your best life.

Carpe Diem

It means to seize the day. It means to have the eye for seeing opportunities. Having the mind open and ready and willing... to accept... newness - new styles, new perspectives, new energy, new beginnings. It means having the poise and posture of someone in readiness... to seek, to act, to co-create.

Opposite of this? Passivity. Lethargy. Fixed-ness. Closed-ness. No room for maneuvering anything. No vantage to check perspective. No wish for change. No will for movement.

Therefore no momentum, no dynamism. Monotone.

It begins with the intention to want more - life, experience, expression. It requires that these mean enough for you to check your platform. They say luck is when readiness meets opportunity. How ready are you to seize the day?

The Step Back Skill

Today on Lite FM 105.7 we discussed one of the most fundamental Neuro - Semantic skills - the step back skill. The basis of which is human beings have this amazing ability to think about our thoughts, reflect upon our feelings, review and analyze our actions. The process is virtual and never ending.

Every time we ask, "What was that about?" or "Wonder what I was thinking?" or "Assuming they will do that, let's see how we could..." we are stepping back. And when we do, we gain perspective. We buy ourselves time-space to respond in ways that benefit us and are to our best advantage.
Flip side? We charge in like a bull in a China shop. Whatever comes, comes. Wanna risk it?

Do you know we could also get other people to step back? We do this when we facilitate their sense of awareness about something, when we get them to consider other options, when we ask them to think about what the consequences may be, given their speech and actions.

How powerful is that! It's an amazing experience being a Neuro-Semantic coach.

I'm a Hypnotist!

See picture of me and Cal Banyan. Cal is my hypnosis teacher. He could "put you out" within 5 seconds! Cal is a Master Hypnotist.

When I told friends I was a hypnotist I said, "Don't close your eyes. I won't put you into a deep deep trance where suddenly you begin feeling extremely comfortable and relaxed and you want to tell me what you feel. That's right. You just want to feel relaxed because it makes you feel good. Naturally.

Get comfortable. Get relaxed. You will go only because you want to go... relaxed and comfortable and feel so good... because you know, don't you, that life can be stressful. And feeling relaxed is such a treat, isn't it? So when I say, "Don't close your eyes, don't sink into your chair," you agree and you nod your head to say you feel alright. And it feels good to feel right...

About Genius n Stuff

The man at the top is Dr Michael Hall. "The" man amongst the many is Dr Michael Hall.
He's the man who taught me everything I know about Neuro - Semantics and Self - Actualization. He's my guru. The rest of us "others" are all students compared to Michael. Michael is the master.

Michael is the master in so many ways. He wrote every book on Neuro-Semantics there is that's worth reading. I've read them (all 40 of them) and I still don't know everything. He's streets ahead of the best in the world. Man, he developed this stuff off the best in the business. And he's still breaking limits.

Nuff praise. Now truth.
He lives his stuff. This man is congruent. He walks his talk. He practices what he preaches.
He lives from the inside out. Probably why he has a massive following in 100 countries.
It's no shit that we all make a better living by practicing what Michael teaches us.

This man taught me about integrity.
And I hold myself to higher standards because I want to belong in the "upper echelons" of power. Personal power, that is. I want to be a member of Michael's Institute of Neuro-Semantics - a member in good standing - no less.

Michael says, "Genius... we all have it. What do you do that when you do it, time goes away, the world stands still and in those moments you're so sharply focused, present, engaged... life seems to flow with ease and joyful bliss?"

For more Michael go to www.self-actualizing.org or www.neurosemantics.com

Fit to Fly

Check out the bod on this bloke.
He happens to be my personal trainer.
See the image of us warming up by my poolside.

Before you go ga-ga, think.
What kind of training gives a guy this kind of trim. What state of mind produces this state of physique. Yeah. Now you think, "gawd how much pain."

Not unless you enjoy it. (He actually likes working out)

So I thought I was big on mind over matter. I thought I had self - control in my pocket.
When your knees are about to buckle and you're one breath short of suffocating, when your body wants to scream, "Please... Enough!" QunLing says, "Gimme 50 more."

Straight face. No pity.
What I see I'll describe as constructive ruthlessness. Get off your butt iron-fistedness. Or else. And I break my old limits every time. How? In terms of endurance. More strength. Certainly more self - satisfaction. Unless of course I keel over like a pathetic mass of protoplasm (which I have done by the way)

QunLing: So tomorrow 8am? See you. And off he goes.
Bathing in sweat, I wipe down. I know I'd be ready and waiting.

5-Star claim but sub - standard service

Malaysia is termed a "developing" nation. According to some criteria, we haven't quite yet arrived at fully - developed nation status. Then there are the advanced economies - those that design lifestyles, trends, and culture the world follows. The G-8, for example. Okay so the better gauge of power and control now is the G-20. But superpowers have ways to stay on top.

So what's this about "developing" and all? For one, we have a low per capita income. Then our facilities aren't at the leading edge of sophistication. Like our public loos and public transport systems. The most important factor I'd say, is the attitude. Just like you can take a horse to water but you cannot make him drink, we can drive people to live in cities but you can't take the "kampung" out of them. Kampung => rural. Rural as in backward.

I was recently at a 5-star hotel. 5-star joints promote their 5-star food, their 5-star service, and of course, charge their 5-star prices. Throughout my experience, I felt disappointed --- I could barely see the food on my plate the portions were so small, and the staff could barely understand what I wanted. Nevertheless, the bill was disproportionate to the serving size.

I wonder what my countrymen are about sometimes. Okay maybe we were in a continental restaurant, perhaps I should've gotten a translator to read my menu, I could've grilled the chef about his cooking style --- but at best, it was what I'd label "pseudo" cuisine. The food was pretending to be French, the restaurant was pretending to be continental, the bill was certainly no reflection of the 5-star quality the place brazenly touted.

Now certain hotels aggressively promote their "elite" member status. Black card. Gold card. Platinum card etc. Except that when you present your plastic, they look at you ruefully and say, "I'm afraid what you've ordered doesn't fall in that category --- it's already on the specials." Or the classic one is, "Not on special occasions like today." And your guests look at you as if you're some kind of cheap skate.

Oh no I'm not falling into this booby trap. I'm a member so give me my privileges. Have I bought you a right to intimidate me, embarrass me, or out-smart me? No way! Not me. I'm all for fair is fair.

If what you see isn't what you get, then ask. Ask till you get an answer you're satisfied with. Or ask the nearest consumer association to intervene. Make sure consumerism doesn't make a fool out of you. Make sure you get value for your money. What's wrong with that?

Should we be embarrassed to get our money or money's worth?
I think the cheapo - s are the ones who aim to cheat.

Australia, Julia for PM, Innovation & Industry

Pic 1
Pic 2

Pic 3

The Hon Kim Carr, Australian Minister for Innovation, Science, Industry & Research (Pic 1: Carr on my right, Zain = Chairman of MABC) came on an official visit to Malaysia last month. The Malaysia - Australia Business Council MABC, for which I am Chair of Communications & PR, hosted a dinner in his honor.

Pic 2: Businessmen at my table
Pic 3: Chairman of the Federation of Malaysian Manufacturers, an old friend

Then all of a sudden, Australia becomes Rudd -er-less and in comes Julia Gillard. 1st lady PM and all. Mining tax yes, but never imagined they were shuffling quicksand!

Ah well. Goes to show today's newspaper wraps fish in tomorrow's market. Moral of the story: Embrace uncertainty. Stay simple, keep humble. As they say, "The best laid plans of mice and men..."

I made it through the rain

People always ask, "Where do you get all this enthusiasm from?
Your energy is scary!"

What would they have me do, I think to myself. I suppose they expect me to be all gloomy and broken, considering all the stuff I've had to deal with in my life.

"Are you happier now?" some ask, peering earnestly into my eyes.
"You look good," is another (begrudging) comment, after sweeping me from head to toe with their eyes.

The average Joe is contented. He may not be brilliant, but he's good. And Jane Doe? That depends. If she's young, she probably fares better than her older sisters. But none seem to have my kind of vitality, my zest for life.

What drives me:
[1] I aim for joy. I want pleasure not pain. This pretty much puts things in perspective and sets
the pace for what to do.
[2] I've adopted happiness as my companion. I don't leave home without it.
[3] I constantly refresh my vision of my best life. I "see" what I'm after all the time, and this
keeps me on course. Then it becomes easy to say "yes" to what I want, and "no" to what I
don't want.
[4] I keep checking, "Do I have what I need? What is my heart's desire? What do I want, that if
I had, would propel me to the next level? Doing this keeps me pro - active and powerful; it
allows me to strategize and plan, rather than wait and cope.
[5] I let go and let God. I surrender to that power which keeps the cosmos in rhythm. I
surrender to the intelligence of that one song --- the universe --- and I know I cannot fail.

Come rain or shine, hurricane or hailstorm, I shall prevail.

What makes a flower grow?

It's the end of June. We're 6 months into the year. Whoof! Time went --- just like that!

So it is time for me to reflect and review my life in all aspects. My career and profession, my intellectual development, time to take stock of my relationships, partnerships and collaborations, review my financial position, check my emotional balance, my spiritual expansion, health and fitness etc.

Some areas good. Check. Some areas trailing behind. Others are in need of some real "kick in the butt" revamp. What happens then is --- stress. "Oh dear, how will I get all that reorganized in this short time? It'll soon be July, then August...

Meantime I must deliver this, do that, and close that deal."
More anxiety.

Suddenly I remember the book I picked up last weekend. Title: What makes a flower grow. Beautiful flower on the cover; I turn the page thinking I'd read about soil, fertilizer, greenhouse, water... but no.

The question is posed again, this time a little child is looking up at her daddy. In all innocence, she asks, "Daddy what makes a flower grow?" "The same power that makes a baby, that gives you the life you have; the same Intelligence that lets you breathe the same time you sleep, and grow, and dream."

And then I say to myself, let me get out of my own way. Let me surrender to that Maestro whose orchestra plays so the cosmos can dance and the birds can sing. Let me allow That which is greater than me to manage my destiny. Let me trust in that power that makes a flower grow.

If you can't commit, quit!

The topic makes something sound wrong, doesn't it? And that could be my perception!

What do you do when someone comes across as wanting something so badly but isn't prepared to put in the time or work to get it? What if they want something bad enough but just won't commit?

While all that "not doing" is going on, these folks have it tucked away somewhere that the world owes them. So off they go, whining and complaining how come things aren't "naturally"
falling into place. Blame, whimper. Blame, whine. And so it goes.
It's anybody's fault but theirs.

It gets worse.
When someone else gets the goodies - the promotion, the good word, the pat on the back, just watch these guys go... go sour. Gripe, gripe. Mumble Grumble. Then they do everything in their power to spoil. Passive agressives, some call them. Stick in the mud.

Don't do, so step aside you'd think, right? Nope.
They kick their heels in, fold their arms, pout and stare daggers at anyone who's done a halfway decent job and wants to get moving. But not through them. Not if they can help it.

Heard the phrase, "over my dead body?" Sometimes, these people just need to be put down so they get the message. Step aside buddy. Vacate. Relocate.

Then I really must kneel down and thank my lucky stars how good a life I have. For these poor sods must really be unhappy chappies to have their knickers so twisted up they can't see the fun in life. Life must really taste sour that they need to spout their misery all over the place.

I believe we can only ever give away what we have. And when we have "sour" inside that's what we'd taste to others. What have you got inside that you're giving out each day and everyday?
What taste of yourself do you leave on the tongues of others? Sweet or sour?

What does "SIN" really mean?

Imagine for a moment, that you know a person who has stored away
everything you want, or need, for your happiness, but refuses to let you
have them unless you do his bidding, ask properly, and behave as he
wants you to.

Furthermore, this person can heal you of disease
but allows you to suffer for now, and MAYBE will consider healing you
at some future date.

Would you consider this a nice person? A friend?

We grow up believing that sin is to disobey, or some form of ingratitude
toward a God who is "far away, and above us" --- in heaven.
Should we violate a commandment, we are punished.
Therefore our God is punitive.

Thus, we hope that this "far away," elusive, punitive God will show compassion
We find ourselves laden with guilt and anxiety over whether we deserve
his mercy at all. We believe our small puny prayers could somehow influence God
--- the Almighty.

How misplaced to think his love is as weak and as conditional as ours.
The idea that God will condemn us is not consistent with a God of forgiveness, is it?

My opinion is all actions and thoughts, which we might call bad, are the result of the error
that is made when we believe that we are separate from God.
It is a mistake of the ego, or the intellect, to believe there is evil for which God must punish us.

So what do we do?
We correct our errors by bringing truth to it. The error is then nullified in truth.
When the mind of man becomes illuminated, it becomes a part of God
This is the solution to our fear of punishment.

Sincere penance does not consist of perpetuating grief for wrongs
but in resolving to avoid in the future those deeds that call for remorse.

LiteFM Radio on Mondays - "Get A Grip" with Tessie Lim

Dr Michael Hall said, "You must be the only one who coaches the media."

To be honest, I hadn't actually thought about it that way. I guess so... because my weekly column in the Sunday Times, Life&Times section is mostly about coaching for self - actualization. Well, actually it's all about coaching for self - actualization because self - actualization has it's applications --- in leadership, relationships, communication, business and enterprise, health and fitness, financial intelligence and wealth creation etc.

Then I do radio - I had a radio show called, The Office on Business FM 89.9 last year for about 3 months and will do radio again this July on LiteFM Radio. My show is called, Get A Grip with Tessie Lim will be on every Monday between 715 and 9am.

My Value Proposition
On Get A Grip, we would discuss HOW TO ACHIEVE
because Self - Actualization & Personal Excellence must lead to success and achievement
otherwise what for???

All talk, no action = no use!

Many (many) people can talk. They spout information. Ideas. Principles. They talk about WHAT
But they are seldom able to tell you HOW.

Our audience when they listen, will learn HOW. But only after they understand WHY.
Because only when it's important to us to know, only then we take the trouble to know.


So we must give listeners a REASON to tune in.

The reason is because we can

[1] Help them solve problems
[2] Show them a way out of their problems
[3] Understand why it is a problem
[4] Help them design options
[5] Give them courage confidence freedom to say, "I can!"


So... Malaysia, ready or not, here I come.
Deep breath, onward ho and off we go.

Youth is Wasted on the Young

This is the topic of a debate that I shall be chairing next week.

It's a topic that amuses me AND irks me at the same time. I look at my baby girl --- who is the picture of style and elegance. Marie is 22; angelic innocence permeates her pores... and then I think of myself. "Grow old gracefully" is my response to this generation gap.

The look that I am going for is dignity. And substance. How could I have left "youthful" out? I can't help wondering if I had left out considering something society highly values. What society? Ahh... come on. The media reveres youth and beauty, let's not kid ourselves. Pictures of young people are plastered everywhere selling everything --- from holidays to hypermarkets.

So I can imagine it's going to be pretty intense. Whatever said next week, the debate will continue to go on inside my head. Sure, I've had my youth and it all went so quickly. Does youth have to end? Must youth be confined to time - space or can it go on forever...
As time is but a concept conjured up by man. Time does not really exist "out there." Time is not something one trips over, or put in one's mouth to taste and say, "Yummy" or "Yuk."

What if we went back to the place where time was born --- the mind of man. What if we altered our perception of youth? What if we altered our perception of time? If human cells renew every 6 months and each cell is brand new, why should the new hold on to the old --- information of aging, illness, etc? Why can't our "new minds" inform our body to renew and stay young?

Mind over matter, they say. Everything is the same in the end, isn't it? All Matter = Energy and back again. What drives it all? Pure intention. Hey it's all about what we want!

I can't wait to hear both sides. I'm hoping the arguments will challenge time-tested prejudices and breakthrough new limits in life as we know it.

Perhaps we could be young forever. Wouldn't that be amazing?
And more amazing is that it's all up to us to decide.

How crazy does crazy get?

I'm not going to fool you. Life isn't always peaches and cream. These past few days have been particularly rotten for me. You think, "Oh I'd know how to handle it," but when it happens, you go down kicking and screaming like the rest.

What could I have done differently? Ahh... isn't hindsight and self - righteous preaching the easiest thing? It's so much easier to criticize than to create.

I want to stay calm. Yes, dignified and well - schooled is how I want to be. Then those idiots push your buttons and "Bam!" you lose it. It's that easy.

How much do you want to be right and how much do you want to be happy? How generous can you be, how forgiving, how giving? Suddenly it makes sense to be blind, deaf, and dumb. Suddenly it's good that you've forgotten how to count. Live and let live. Go with the flow. He ain't heavy, he's my brother. We are faa-mell-lee!

Only it's not tha-aat easy. When the shit hits the fan, it's all you can do to keep from turning into the incredible hulk.

Then you breathe... count 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6... breathe and count some more.
Call your name. Count sheep. Say Hail Marys. Do your damn - dest so you slink back into your
soul.

So... I shit you not, my friends and neighbors. I struggle like all of you, perhaps harder than most of you. All I can say to redeem myself in your eyes is that I work really hard to overcome. And when I know I've reached the point where I can no longer go; that point beyond myself; that's when I close my eyes and surrender to that which is greater than myself. I let go, and let God. I ask Spirit to lift me to that higher place, that place I have not the strength nor capacity to reach by my sorry Self. And then I wait. And then it comes. And then, standing on shoulders of giants, I can see forever...

Bring crazy on. I am something bigger than crazy!

We're in the Money!

Never thought I'd ever be in the money business. The subject, even the mention of the word used to make me uncomfortable. I guess it's because our family never had any. Money was for those who were unscrupulous. For those who sold their souls and did what the devil wanted. Money was not for the pure of heart.

Well at least that's what I believed. Any wonder why I had trouble making some?

Whenever I came into money (any money at all) it seemed the age old adage, "A fool and his money is always parted" rang true. It didn't seem possible for me to hold on to it. I spent it... and quick! Of course the pleasure from money was then short lived.

Now I am a director of Peak Prosperity Consulting, a company set up for the purpose of helping investors make money by understanding the markets and learning about how they work. The work we do helps people make sense of what's going on in the global financial, and socio - economic scenario and then rationalizes how best to invest - according to their aptitude, and with the objective of becoming financially free.

Only too many people jump in driven by all the wrong reasons. They are especially motivated by greed. A lethal combination when added to ignorance and impatience.

Once we make some noise about how things can be done intelligently, slowly, and pro-actively, without losing sight of the goals, we hope to free so many who are leashed to unhealthy relationships - advisers, institutions, and to the stuff of money itself.

My Birthday, My Baby, & Me

My last birthday was a blast. My baby girl, Marie and I went to this amazing Italian restaurant in Singapore. Old friends I hadn't seen in years came to join us. Even their husbands turned up - which is something big businessmen don't do!
You can imagine I was delighted at their presence... and their presents!

Here's to growing old gracefully. Remembering that family and happiness is what life's all about.

Cheers!

Peak Performance Peak Prosperity

Infinitus Opulentia or Infinite Opulence is the tagline or battle cry for my new business.
You see, people don't really care what I say or do. What they want is more money. They pay attention if what I do makes them more money, teaches them tools to make more money, or gives them insight on how to make more efficient use of their money.

Tough but true. For the softer among us, we may substitute money with love and sex, admiration, power, and authority.

So this business called Peak Prosperity Consulting Pte Ltd does just that. It teaches people how to make more money from the money they already have. We help people invest - wisely.

Putting all my experience together with that of friends who have all gotten "burnt" in the last few financial debacles - subprime and whatever else they are called, we decided to create a company that makes things safe and simple. In so doing, we take the fear out of the word investing.

While you're making more money, you're also learning how stuff works, which is great because these hoity - toity banks seldom teach you anything!

So there! That's my latest venture and my contribution to your financial freedom.

If I can do it, so can you.

When Leaders Don't Communicate

The main job of a leader is to create followers.

Why do people follow? People want more - money, admiration, sense of belonging, safety and security. They want to follow those whom they believe could enable them to be more of themselves; ultimately we all want to lead a better life.

The leader must then build a vision so that all could clearly see what his proposals are, and how these would bring about this "better life."

Unfortunately many who call themselves leaders, or whom are called leaders by others - do not know how to execute their task! As if anointed by some higher authority, by the amount of power they wield, the fear they spread - by these criteria, leaders are made. Or should I say, born.

Now there are two types of power. One is power by status and money and authority. The other is the power of the Self. Strip away everything from the first category and see what is left. That is the power I speak of in the second category. This is true power. This is lasting power. This power, the heavens respect.

In this day and age, there are two types of leaders. Command and Control leaders, and Cooperate and Co - Create type of leaders. In the early feudal, tribal days, one could lead by wielding the sword. Now we say, the pen is mightier than the sword.
Now we live in a wisdom economy, not agricultural economy. Now we rely on brains, not brawn.

How powerful can you be among people who are able to outsmart you in a wink? How powerful when set against the backdrop of an interconnected universe, again where civilizations rise and fall in a blink?

The time of honor, respect, dignity, and truth is upon us. And this truth shall set us free.


May you have the courage, confidence, and freedom to live your best life.

When Spirit and I are One

The subject of my "higher self" had always puzzled me, and for the longest time I looked to read, asked to find out about this... phenomenon.

It was easy enough to forget, as my work required me to be "right here right now" present, engaged, and attentive. "Gimme the low down on this, the real - time statistics on that, get feedback from the grassroots..." were the usual commentary I had to deal with. You can see, very little actually took place at the higher level. Perhaps all the decisions --- but seldom did that involve me.

In the boardroom, stakeholders wanted proof, empirical data, tangible fact. Nobody had time for touchie - feelie extra - sensory perception. That all was saved for the dreamers. Movers and shakers wanted cold hard evidence.

Then how did the topic re - introduce itself? After living "active and reactive," learning that this lifestyle was really nothing short of comical nonsense... (eg. it had all to do with impatience, not patience, intolerance, not tolerance, prejudice, not non - judgment) you can imagine years of feeling unsettled, disassociated, and stuck really needed to find an escape.

Something within me wanted to be unleashed. I wanted out. Uh huh. Out of what, from where, you ask. Who exactly wanted out? I dunno. But this "thing" would not stop bugging.

"It" settled only when my own neediness reduced and my generosity increased. Well, that's long after I began to recognize what was happening and when.

Now I know the higher self is the self that is connected to the best version of you. This "part" of the self is in fact the you that is God. Uh huh. As we are one with the Divine, we are Divine. Because whatever is in the presence of the Divine is enveloped in light. We have no choice but become infused with that which is greater than us.

You mock me? Let me show you how easy it is if you follow these steps

[1] Accept that something greater, higher, more powerful than life exists.
If you don't, you will come to this conclusion anyway. As the Sufi poets say,
"First you say you are a non - believer until you learn that you are God"

[2] Invite Spirit in. To do this, all you do is surrender to the Force. Say,
"I am too weak to manage and so I turn my life over to you who is greater than me"

[3] Wait and Listen. And as soon as you align with both acceptance and invitation,
Spirit comes and lights the fire of your soul. And everything impossible becomes
possible. There is no more fear, only comfort. No more needing, only giving.


And when this is achieved and the self, realized... in union with Spirit, all life becomes a thing of joy, forever.

I invite you into Spirit. Let us become one in the collective consciousness.
There are no boundaries, only infinite possibility

The End of the Affair

"What is sex in a relationship?" A reader me asked several weeks ago.

"Why, anything you want it to be," I replied. Do you feel he uses you for sex? Or is it something sacred you both share in vulnerability and trust? Are you using him to escape the dreary monotone of life?

Talking of escapades...
Having been married for more than 20 years, in all honesty I say that being married doesn't render one, dead. Therefore one isn't completely protected from being attracted to the one who pays attention and who shares your interests. Suddenly you feel the exhilaration of spending time with someone who you can pour your heart out to. The crescendo of heartbeats that feel for the very same things!

Suddenly you're dreaming of someone other than the man in your bed. You're looking forward to time spent with another whom you think shares your passions, hopes, and dreams, whom you believe understands you better than your husband. At least, he shows more interest.

Mind you, it's all intellectual... so far. Your mind begins to imagine more than that. Yet you don't imagine that he might actually spurn you --- because, well... you're married.

So that's where it ends. You know it could never become anything. And so the friendship lapses. It dies a natural death. You see each other less and less. No less does your heart hope that one day... someday... someday soon...

But no. Then one day, cloud hanging heavy from the internal chaos that has been going on inside your head for all this time, you confess. "You know Joe Blow... well... I had feelings for him. I thought they were strong enough that I might, you know, go off with him. But it came to nought. I wanted you to know..."

The man at the breakfast table, grunts. "You didn't, and that's what matters." He goes on reading his paper. Then he looks up and says, "The sad thing is that you don't realize you have everything right here."

I look at him, thinking I'd find some emotion. Uh uh, none. Straight arrow. Is that empathy right there, I wonder? Is that him feeling what I'm feeling?

And what am I feeling? Like a good thing got away? Not quite. Just that a bit of variety might have been nice.

And what made him respond so generously? Would that be reciprocal understanding for one of his own liaisons? Maybe.

Anyway the affair that wasn't, turned out to be an exploration of what meanings I've given to life and love. Seems that the meanings are many. Just as many as there are facets of me.

The variety is nice.

When people ask for help

I was contacted by a reader of my column who said she wanted to meet me. She had suffered considerably, cancer it was. And although I do not usually meet people like this, I agreed to see her. Anyway long story short, I found it difficult not to offer support - through my network of friends - easily done, without much trouble at all.

Anyway, the reason I write about this is to reflect on what makes us go out of our way to offer help. Isn't it so much easier to turn away? No one can fault us after all. But when we can easily do something - that costs us no more than what we would pay for a new tee shirt or a nice meal... I wonder what prevents us from doing so? More importantly, what prevents us from asking for help and support when we need it for ourselves, our family, and friends?

We feel embarrassed to ask... I know I do. But from just asking my friends who are doctors, donors, concerned individuals... so many are so prepared to step up. Perhaps we might consider lowering our defenses, sharing our vulnerabilities, getting our ego out of the way. And just share. Just show others what we need. How is that so difficult?

Could it be the law of reciprocity? We feel indebted to the point of feeling we have to return what we are given? Perhaps. But oftentimes, people just want gratitude. People are happy with smiles and the knowing that they have made someone's life better.
At least that's what I'm finding out now through my own assistance with this lovely person.

In learning to help another, I am learning to know myself.